TEACHER:                Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA:                      Here it is.

TEACHER:                Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS:                      Maria.


TEACHER:                Why are you late, Frank?

FRANK:                     Because of the sign.

TEACHER:                What sign?

FRANK:                     The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”


TEACHER:                John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN:                        You told me to do it without using tables.


TEACHER:                Glenn, how do you spell “crocodile?”

GLENN:                     K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L”

TEACHER:                No, that’s wrong

GLENN:                     Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.


TEACHER:                Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD:                  H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER:                What are you talking about?

DONALD:                  Yesterday you said it’s H to O.


TEACHER:                Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten                                                                                                                 years ago

WINNIE:                    Me!


TEACHER:                Goss, why do you always get so dirty?

GOSS:                        Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.


TEACHER:                Millie, give me a sentence starting with “I.”

MILLIE:                     I is...

TEACHER:                No, Millie..... Always say, “I am.”

MILLIE:                     All right... “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”


TEACHER:                Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON:                      No sir, I don’t have to,  my Mom is a good cook.


TEACHER:                Clyde, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your                                     Brother’s. Did you copy his?

CLYDE:                     No, teacher, it’s the same dog.


TEACHER:                Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are                          no longer interested?

HAROLD:                  A teacher.