TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA:           Here it is.

TEACHER:     Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS:            Maria.

TEACHER:    Why are you late, Frank?

FRANK:         Because of the sign.

TEACHER:    What sign?

FRANK: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”

TEACHER:   John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN:          You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER:    Glenn, how do you spell “crocodile?”

GLENN:             K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L”

TEACHER:        No, that’s wrong

GLENN:             Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER:       Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD:         H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER:       What are you talking about?

DONALD:         Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

TEACHER:       Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago

WINNIE:            Me!

TEACHER:      Goss, why do you always get so dirty?

GOSS:             Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER:       Millie, give me a sentence starting with “I.”

MILLIE:              I is...

TEACHER:       No, Millie..... Always say, “I am.”

MILLIE:             All right... “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”

TEACHER:       Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON:           No sir, I don’t have to,  my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER:       Clyde, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your Brother’s. Did you copy his?

CLYDE:             No, teacher, it’s the same dog.

TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD:        A teacher.